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I carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart).
  I am never without it

(anywhere i go you go, whatever is done by only me is your doing).

E. E. Cummings

The Heart Wants What It Wants

Your heart wants what it wants, what it needs.
So, listen to it. Listen to it carefully.
Because in the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take.

~

2017 is the hardest year.
16 years ago I lost my mother, and this year I lost my other most important person in my life.
This year also, I must face the reality that I have to deal with something beyond my fear.
There were times when I thought I wouldn't want to continue to live,
as I lost my 2 beloved people when I need them the most.
But this blog⏤my illustration poetry⏤saved me, as it always does.
I illustrate for the same reason I breathe.
(And also, I would love to go to an important music concert in Europe next year.
I know that sounds silly, but to me, it's like a dream come true).

Art, music, they heal, they really do.
As I read once in an article:
"Art heals by changing a person’s physiology and attitude. The body’s physiology changes from one of stress to one of deep relaxation, from one of fear to one of creativity and inspiration. Art and music put a person in a different brain wave pattern, art and music affect a person’s autonomic nervous system, their hormonal balance and their brain neurotransmitters.
Art and music affect every cell in the body instantly to create a healing physiology that changes the immune system and blood flow to all the organs. Art and music also immediately change a person’s perceptions of their world. They change attitude, emotional state, and pain perception. They create hope and positivity and they help people cope with difficulties. They transform a person’s outlook and way of being in the world."

Art heals, as well as it gives me hope.
I wouldn't know what will happen next year, but for now, I want to keep doing what I love.
I still want to draw, to paint, to create, to illustrate poetry.
And I am feeling excited for the upcoming art projects I will be doing next year.
I can't wait to implement my ideas, my thoughts, my feelings.
I am deeply forever grateful for the people who appreciate my work,
and give me the opportunity to create,
despite the fact that I am not even talented at all.
(I draw and paint with some sort of love magic inside me, they just didn't know it).

I will try to stop telling myself that I’m lost.
I am not.
I'm on a road, driving with hope that I will find a place that I like and I will stay there.
I am not lost, I am on my way.

Northanger Abbey





Book cover for Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen

*music credit here

Van Gogh's Starry Night



"Some days i am Van Gogh’s Starry Night,
other days i am his suicide letter."




Vincent Van Gogh used to eat yellow paint because he thought it would get the happiness inside him. Many people thought he was mad and stupid for doing so because the paint was toxic,
never mind that it was obvious that eating paint couldn’t possible have any direct correlation to one’s happiness, but I never saw that.
If you were so unhappy that even the maddest ideas could possible work,
like painting the walls of your internal organs yellow, then you are going to do it.
It’s really no different than falling in love or taking drugs.
There is a greater risk of getting your heart broken or overdosing,
but people still do it everyday because there was always that chance it could make things better.
Everyone has their own yellow paint.

And You, are my yellow paint.

Women


"I am a forest, and a night of dark trees:
but he who is not afraid of my darkness, will find banks full of roses under my cypresses."

━ Friedrich Nietzsche


*for @illustrationfriday this week's topic: "Women"

The Princess and the Goblin




Book cover for The Princess and the Goblin, a children's fantasy novel by George MacDonald, published in 1872.

Hard Times




Book cover for Hard Times, an 1854 novel by Charles Dickens.

The Living Poetry


You fell in love with the artist,
the one who,
even after you broke their heart,
made you look like something 
breathtaking,
made you sound like
a miracle.

They wrote you a thousand poems,
crafted you a million different ways,
all making you exist within the lines of beauty.

Do you know how lucky you are?
To have broken the heart of someone,
someone who will turn you into art?
You've been alive before,
but never like this.



Letting Go


Translation: 
"I do not abandon anyone, but I do not hold the hand of that who wishes to leave."
...

you x me


در زمانه ای که عمر عشق يک آه و دمه
من هنوز تو گفتن دوست دارم واموندم

During a time when love is reduced to a breath,
I am still trying to say I love you.